MYTHILO Vol. 12 // FRENCH BULLDOG
Updated: Jun 7, 2022
I love dogs!
That pretty much says it all. But as a thank you for clicking on the article, I want to let you in on a secret: Even though I love Weimaraners for their elegance and I can't get enough of bouncing pugs or running dachshunds, if I were to choose a dog, I would still choose a French Bulldog.
Protruding eyes, the oversized ears, the odd love handles, the snoring, drooling...even the flatulence. The French Bulldog is simply adorable in every way!
And somehow it is paradoxical what attraction this collection of flaws have in today's perfect world, isn't it?
I don't think any of us would dare to go to the office on Monday morning with a wrinkled face and expect compliments, and on Tinder your portrait with the sewn-up eye would certainly not be a huge success. If someone should take pity on you and you wet the Persian carpet at your future in-laws, you can set the relationship status right back to "single". The Frenchie, on the other hand, would move in there the same evening.
Listen to yourself and ask yourself: When was the last time your partner praised you for gaining weight? When was the box of chocolates fairly shared with YOU on the sofa Saturday night? Do you remember the last time you slept until 11 o'clock without a guilty conscience, only to lie down again after a short stretch? I remember. It was between 1977 - 78, after which my puppy protection ended.
The French bulldog is allowed to do that. The French bulldog is allowed to do just about anything! The French Bulldog is always allowed to do everything! Let's just think about the topic of intimate hygiene, where we - unlike Frenchie - always exercise discreet restraint. If we were to follow the Frenchie's example, we would have been in jail or another closed facility. But why actually? What does the Frenchie have that we do not have?
A look into the past provides us with the answer: In the 19th century, the French bulldog was associated with the Parisian café life, the "Bonvivants" and the fine ladies who sought nightly pleasures in the Parisian dance halls. Edgar Degas and Toulouse-Lautrec even depicted the Frenchie in their paintings. That's when you, as a dog, know you've made it. If you belong to the upper class, you can just be yourself and let yourself go. There is no other way to explain that Flavio Briatore with his 72 (that applies to age as well as BMI) surrounds himself with the most beautiful models in the world. It’s his „Frenchie Attitude" on the French Riviera!
Frenchie I love but also envy you, because unfortunately I will never be like you! I will never be able to live your life or enjoy your privileges. In such moments of complete resignation, the only consolation left is that of a good friend like Freddy Mercury, who whispers in our ears "Someone still loves you".
I don't want a French bulldog, I want to be a French bulldog - even if i have to wear a collar for it!